How To Convince Your Conservative Parents That You Want To Marry Someone Outside Your Caste?

inter-caste marriage

Having a son or daughter who wants to marry someone outside of their caste is tricky business on so many levels that most parents find this to be one of their worst fears. Potentially different culture, customs, language, food, and everyday living pose a barrier for the parents and other family members of the bride on one side and groom on the other that most parents are prepared to go to great lengths to stop such a union. Although inter-caste marriage in India is relatively common, getting your parents to agree to it and accept it is a whole different story.

Most parents will refuse to acknowledge the fact you’re in love with someone from a different caste, and might even go as far as to threaten you and your entire family unless you back off, change your mind, and go for one of the suitors they’ve chosen for you. If you’re 100% sure you’ve found the love of your life, tell your parents how much you love them first. Don’t get defensive, and let them say to you all the bad things they have to say regarding marrying outside your caste and against their wishes. Be prepared to take it and respond with nothing but love and understanding. Give them time and they should come around when they see they haven’t broken you despite having tried everything in their power to change your mind. This may take years and you will need all the support from your other half during this time that you can get.

Try talking to some of your relatives that are close to your family. They might be able to help you psychologically and try to talk to your parents to make them see your chosen partner is a good match for you despite the fact they come from a different caste. Aunts, uncles, siblings and grandparents can form your support system that you can rely on during this difficult time. The more people you have on your side the easier it will be for your parents to adapt to the new situation and hopefully support you in the end.

Mature behaviour on your part will get you far, and some of the things you can do involve being a good son or daughter to your parents by spending more time with them, booking them surprise trips to spiritual places or arranging for them to do whatever it is they like to do but hardly ever have the time for. Appeal to their good side and never let them provoke you. Refuse to meet other potential mates they find for you, explain your feelings for the person you love, but don’t disrespect them in any other way. Eventually, they’ll run out of arguments to oppose your decision. Let them know you’re not asking for their permission, but their blessing and show them you are a mature person capable of making important choices.

Stay firm in your decision to marry whom you wish, and remember that if your parents put up a good fight the reward you get once you prevail will be even sweeter.